Ever read a book?
Gee, that's like getting a poison pen letter from Manson.
Considering all the signs you exhibit, you might want to, in you more lucid states, mosey on down to the local Psychologist. While they have meds that can fix brain impairment, you have to take them as soon as you notice a problem. They may stop further degradation, but you won't get back what you've lost.
Think of me as you sort mail.