While in Boston pursuing a graduate degree at A Well Known Eastern Business School, four friends of mine developed a fascination with my single-word mild insults and began to catalogue them. Soon they were developing their own and use of them in a contrapuntal stream became sport.
We'd be seated in a maroon vinyl banquette at a restaurant in China Town and one of them would accidentally knock over the salt.
I'd deign to look at them with mild disgust and murmur "churl" out of the corner of my mouth. The offended party would reply: "chuff." And it would commence rapid fire, the words curling out of our mouths in a low, disgusted voice as if they were rancid and bitter:
"Vassal"
Serf
"Grobian"
Bosthoon
"Sycophant"
Myrmidon
"Ninnyhammer"
Bescumberer
"Cacafuego"
Gubbertush
"Snivelard"
About a year after we developed this little . . . affectation . . . we reached the point that on a good night a mid-meal blunder would result in a string of insults that lasted through paying the check and riding the T back to campus.
The only way you won was if the other person ran out of insulting terms or if you came up with a new one that dumbfounded your opponent. Ah, sweet youth.
But don't worry about the whole Boston thing. I returned to Texas. Then left. But that's another story.
A paradisaical evening in my book! I’ve “starred” each of those splendid words in my Android’s dictionary as a favorite. As I was doing so, I ran through my list ... zugzwang (tsook tsvahng) ... I don’t even play chess, but that word is too cool for school.