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My friend and her family are just beside themselves in grief over not only the lost child, but the way it was handled compounds it a thousand-fold.

A thousand-fold? Really? What were they planing, a funeral with a casket? It's a shame these people lost their baby before it had a chance to be born, but that's just the harsh odds of the reproductive process.

Dwelling on what happened to the lifeless body that nature took from them is pointless. What possible good could come from pursuing anything related to the incident?

Dwelling on what happened to the lifeless body that nature took from them is pointless.

Try to imagine folks who are joyous at the prospect of a child being born. Imagine how they have already begun to plan for their future with the child. Imagine them sharing their excitement and anticipation with others. Imagine others joining in their joy.

Try to imagine that all going horribly wrong. The new life taken by death. Try to imagine the sorrow and suffering.

Thankfully, most FReepers can do this automatically. I hope this little exercise helps anyone challenged in the empathy area.

“What possible good could come from pursuing anything related to the incident?”

Uhhh, preventing it from happening to another family in the future, for one.

As was pointed out, there is a valid medical reason to examine the fetus. Holding medical staff accountable for failing to perform the duties of their job, would be another good to come from follow-up.

Wait, do you work for the hospital?

Number 36-your comment is “pointless” as well as void of compassion and sarcastic. The family describes being in a state of shock and disbelief. I do not agree with your description of their loss as nature taking the fetus is helpful advice.
The hospital should have given this family the decision of how they wanted the fetal remains disposed of. In addition, they needed immediate support from a staff person who deals with death and loss.

Every hospital I have worked in has had an ethics committee composed of nurses, Drs, social wkrs, legal reps, and other disciplines who consult over these kinds of issues-usually their opinions have a lot of clout and influence in resolving issues such as this.

This family needs grief counseling for help and advice. Unresolved grief can have life long negative effects on a family unless they are helped to move on. Check out the stages of grief by Elizabeth Kubler Ross.

I had a emergency C section at 6 months. My daughter weighted less than 2 pounds and was 11 inches long. We had (and wanted) to bury her...Resurrection Cemetery near where we lived had a special area for even still born babies...Working on the GYN floor, we always put a speci-pan on the toilet for threatened or inevitable aborts. They went to pathology and then the parents could take the remains for burial....the funeral home came to get Ann Marie and she was buried before I even left the hospital...

One of my patients aborted into the speci-pan and we got an intern from Labor and delivery to cut the cord to the afterbirth before we would let her up from the toilet...I can understand that a small hospital might inadvertently flush, but the afterbirth is still inside the mother. The cord must be cut unless the gestation is just a few weeks...

Another woman I admitted was told by her doctor to keep all "tissue" she dropped. When I admitted her she handed me a small jar with a lid and a baby about 5 inches long in the bottle....the poor woman was a basket case until she was able to give me the jar she had in her purse...

It is very tramatic for most women, emotionally and physically...Early gestation usually does not have a well developed afterbirth.

Minn,

Yours is the most heartless comment I have ever read on FR, or on any message board actually.

It’s obvious you’ve never had a child, or lost one, by miscarriage or any way.

Or if you have, maybe you are just one callous, cold....well.

If you cannot comfort or offer useful advice to people in grief and mourning, then the best thing to do is STFU.