I think you’re on to something. This “cold turkey” and “count the days I’ve been good” thing is just too extreme.
Also, the idea of “forbidden fruit” and something not being “allowed” has the seeds of failure built right in.
The extreme moderation you practice seems sensible to me.
This isn’t a ‘cold turkey’ thing with me. I have health issues. But at my age (68) and history, they’re not going away, and a very occasional cigar or pipe will not be much of an influence. My wife went cold turkey with the patch backin ‘96. Hasn’t smoked since, so it works. It’s up to the individual and how much determination they bring to the table. BTW, my wife is fine with my situation.
The fact I started smoking after 12 years of abstinence has nothing to do with determination. It has to do with my health, the fact I could ‘go’ any day, so I’m going to enjoy simple pleasures, but on a very refined and manageable schedule. Works for me...