Thanks.
It was about 0330 when the alarms went off at the Pimp Intel Mapping Patrol HQ, Texas.
I sat up and shook the mouse to wake up my system.
Someone had emptied my ashtray. I like that.
Through the glass I could see the techs on duty shifting over to Alert mode on
their Free Republic PimpScan monitoring systems.
I hoped this wasn’t another false alarm. I was tired.
We’d had four just this week. Better safe than sorry but the alerts that
don’t amount to anything always happen in the middle of the night.
My system fired up and I saw mail and posts to me. Things weren’t quiet.
Opening my Freepmail, I could see immediately that a dozen or so were
directed at a single thread. A hot spot for sure. An opportunity to bust a
pimp or a false alarm. Maybe some other interesting issue. Or nothing.
I’ll admit I hesitated. I sighed and got up and padded into the mess hall
and fired up the coffee. I could see that this wouldn’t be a quick fix given
the number of alerts. I lit a cigarette. All this took maybe a minute.
If that.
As I opened the thread, I shot an email to the techs on duty and those in
the field letting them know that we were on it, and review would commence.
Lamenting the fact that I hadn’t got my coffee yet and resigned to the
fact the I was up for the duration, I put on my Titanium Alloy Cyber Helmet
and plugged the USB into the console. I was in, like it or not.
The TACH, or Titanium Alloy Cyber Helmet, allows us to immerse ourselves
into the thread and uses information gathered from a variety of sources to
simulate accurately the physical form of the attackers and the allies.
It looks like HALO or DOOM. With better intel.
Sometimes this doesn’t work so well and a pimp or group of pimps manage
to use modifications or propaganda to defeat us. This is rare.
I hoped we weren’t under attack by a professional pimp squad.
My HUD showed three pimps on the forum but only one on the thread
we’d been alerted to. No cross-talk, which was good. Probably lone
pimps, working small-time.
The first ping I read was a generic alert.
The rest were red like fire with a pimp screaming about his rights.
Screaming from behind his excerpt wall while his hit counter racked
up stolen hits.
This pimp seemed quite vocal but lacking in firepower.
Screaming bloody murder, he was.
I eat excerpt walls for lunch. This looked easy, I’d be back in the
bunk in time to watch Sea Hunt. I asked the pimp:
“Why not just post it here?”
I find this to be a polite question.
The pimp went crazy.
The pimp then unleashed his trap, a strike force of undercover pimps
who had been laying low and biding their time. Sneaky pukes.
Apparently he pinged them all, because suddenly I was surrounded
by at least eighteen rabid pimps with death in their eyes.
I saw them converge on the thread...