Posted on 03/22/2011 8:24:43 PM PDT by GenerationSnookie
Remember Fred Durst and Osama bin Laden?
Jay Stephenson GenerationSnooki.com March 22, 2011
Osama bin Laden and Fred Durst have to be frustrated these days. Their fame and notoriety peaked in the late 1990s and early 2000s, but the media doesn’t seem to care about them anymore. And both hold an equal place in our current president’s mind: Gone.
Watching the U.S. attempt to overthrow Muammar Gaddafi on CNN for Bin Laden has be the similar to Durst watching Eminem on the MTV music awards. There was a time both these men were relevant in the public’s mind, but the music industry soon became enraptured with Kanye West and Lady Gaga; and the U.S. government switched its focus from Bin Laden to Saddam Hussein and Gaddafi.
The year was 1997 and Durst splashed onto the music scene as the charismatic frontman for Limp Bizkit with a megahit cover of George Michael’s 1980s hit single Faith. It was also a big year for Bin Laden when he smashed onto the world stage as the charismatic frontman for the Luxor massacre in Egypt. Like Durst’s cover of Faith, it was a smashing hit, killing 58 tourists, including 35 Swiss nationals. While Durst was able to draw inspiration from a 1980s pop sensation hit, Bin Laden drew from his experience in the 1980s when he received funding from the CIA as one of Afghanistan’s “Freedom Fighters.” Consider the CIA sort of playing the role of Obi Wan Kenobi for Bin Laden, just like Michaels did for Durst.
Then came the year 1998 when Durst and Bin Laden began their ascension to world fame. Durst was recording his hit album Significant Other, cementing his future as one of rock’s pioneering lyricists rivaling only John Lennon and Bob Dylan with the following verse:
“I did it all for the nookie (come on) the nookie (come on) so you can take that cookie and stick it up your (yeah) stick it up your (yeah) stick it up your (yeah) stick it up your….”
But Durst’s brilliant poetics paled in comparison to Bin Laden’s 1998 fatwa against the United States urging a holy war against all “pagans.”
“The United States has been occupying the lands of Islam in the holiest of places, the Arabian Peninsula, plundering its riches, dictating to its rulers, humiliating its people, terrorizing its neighbors, and turning its bases in the Peninsula into a spearhead through which to fight the neighboring Muslim peoples.”
Word has it Bin Laden’s fervid rhetoric inspired Mel Gibson’s historic rants on ex-wife Oksana Grigorieva’s voicemail and Charlie Sheen’s radio interviews decrying Two and a Half Men creator Chuck Lorre as a “charlatan,” “turd,” and “troll.”
Following on the heels of Significant Other, Durst and Limp Bizkit would again shoot up the pop charts in late 2000 and early 2001 with Chocolate Starfish and the Hot Dog Flavored Water. This was back when people who didn’t live in trailer parks actually watched wrestling and Britney Spears was still wearing panties. Bin Laden, still gaining momentum from his role in the Balkan Wars, would get his break early September of that year, despite several warnings given to the Clinton and Bush administrations that an attack would be coming on U.S soil.
Four commercial airliner jets crashed, two of the world’s tallest buildings and the Pentagon destroyed, and nearly 3,000 people dead….Bin Laden had even outmatched Chocolate Starfish and the Hot Dog Flavored Water by getting people to actually stop watching reality television for two days. The al-Qaeda network responsible for the attacks would be hunted down and defeated, the president promised. Whether in a cave or above ground, Bin Laden would be found dead or alive.
But despite a war waged in Afghanistan against the al-Qaeda friendly Taliban, even though Bin Laden was said to be in Pakistan at the time, Bush changed his war strategy in the Middle East that continues to inspire today with the recent attack on Libya: Defeat al-Qaeda by waging war against its enemies.
Bin Laden had to of been disappointed. Despite the fact none of the hijackers originated from Iraq, Bush went to war against Saddam Hussein. During this time, Durst and Limp Bizkit released Results May Vary, which bombed in the charts and was called “f***ing crap” by more than one critic. And after Britney Spears had a rendezvous with Durst and then pretended he didn’t exist, Bush acted in a similar way towards Bin Laden.
“I truly am not that concerned about him,” Bush said when asked about Bin Laden’s whereabouts. Since then, Bin Laden and Durst have flown completely off the government and media’s radar and are becoming less relevant than MC Hammer and Vanilla Ice. Despite several statements during the 2008 election vowing to hunt down the man Bush gave up on, Obama stated he shares Bush’s attitude:
“If we have so tightened the noose that he's in a cave somewhere and can't even communicate with his operatives then we will meet our goal of protecting America,” Obama said early in 2009. Translation: “I’d rather be playing golf.”
And adding further insult to both Bin Laden and Durst, both Bush and Obama have given more air time discussing Kanye West in recent years than they have the man the government says is responsible for killings thousands of Americans.
Bin Laden could still wage a comeback, if he’s still alive. The key is for Bin Laden is to insert himself as the leader of an oil rich country, so long as he doesn’t act as a puppet for the U.S. government like Saudi Arabia. It can’t be that difficult because America will go to war even if none of its vital interests are at stake. In fact, America will go to war even if it doesn’t have any money.
As for Durst……maybe the next Celebrity Apprentice?
Jay Stephenson can be reached at JayStephenson@generationsnooki.com
It disgusts me to nausea that I even know what a “Snookie” is.
Welcome to Free Republic....I think....
Snookie? Isn’t that an STD?
There are some people on here who make an art of newbie-hazing. Mind your P's and Q's and you'll be alright, despite your, ahem, odd screen-name.
Wow, food for thought.
My entire worldview has just undergone a paradigm shift.
Wow, food for thought.
My entire worldview has just undergone a paradigm shift.
Careful.... Snooki will be my wife some day.Who the hell are these other people?
“While Durst was able to draw inspiration from a 1980s pop sensation hit, Bin Laden drew from his experience in the 1980s when he received funding from the CIA as one of Afghanistan’s “Freedom Fighters.” Consider the CIA sort of playing the role of Obi Wan Kenobi for Bin Laden, just like Michaels did for Durst.”
Nice try, but this is a leftist lie. The CIA had no involvement with Bin Laden, only with native Afghan mujahideen. If you try to track down the origin of this urban legend, you’ll find it’s all based on speculation by “analysts” who had no first or even second hand knowledge that this actually ever occurred.
It’s as if, I found out that Elvis Presley happened to be Dallas on Nov 22, 1963, and just concluded that it’s likely he was involved in the Kennedy assassination, then the media picked that statement up and ran with it as fact.
I have never once watched Jersey Shore. Never will.
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