[1234]

...Of course, he also could be back on crack
right; and he's 'dating' LARRY SINCLAIR on the sly.

[Kenny Bunk]

Do I detect a note of disbelief in my "back on crack," hypothesis? Well, as a true scientist, I won't rule it out. He's also had some methamphetamine experience. I reckon in addition to the Birth Certificate, I will also need a drug screen.

Now about Larry Sinclair. He and I are not on speaking terms ever since he refused to come to Livermore Falls to speak on behalf of my Maine Lumber Industry Gay Marriage Proposal.

I am for the issuance of temporary marriage certificates to gay lumberjacks (and I guess lesbian lumberjacquelines), valid from October through May, or ice-out, which ever comes first. It will help get them out of town for the winter, which is already bad enough without having to put up with their screeching during blizzards.