I find by admitting that fact and saying “Yes I’m defensive about the fact that I’ve been falsely accused of “such and such”, now YOU are being defensive in that I’ve called you on those lies!” (then center on the 1 or 2 folks that seem to “ring lead” these issues)”But I tell you what, lets all go down to human resources to talk about our differences with each other...perhaps they’ll fire the whole lot of us!”
That type of approach usually puts the kibosh on such crap(at least it does for me), especially when your work output is good and no one can fault you on anything else substantive!
Did you find different employment and leave or were you forced out or was there a layoff?
The Dad was nicknamed Cleave, after Mr. Cleaver. What a wonderful man. He knew what was going on and would advise me in private to ignore them, that he knew better and it didn't affect his respect for me or my work one bit. I stayed for 10 years and left only when he passed away and I knew there would be a feeding frenzy for control of the company with his passing. Come to find out after leaving he had withstood a hostile attempt at a leveraged buyout during my tenure and to avoid being in a cash and asses rich target for such things he established an ESOP and made contributions of behalf of EVERY employee for years. He did this unbeknown to all but a few of the employees. Five years after leaving I received over $100,000 when the company was sold to a competitor.
Several years later I received another sizable check, this time because one of the sons had spend over 10 years fighting IRS in court on behalf of the company and finally prevailed. The proceeds were distributed in the same split as the ESOP proceeds. Don't mean to bore you with details, but I can't refer to that time in my life without speaking well of Cleave and his wife, two sons and daughter. I have seen full-grown men cry when his name comes up in conversation.
I brought up the whole thing just to express support for Sarah. I know, firsthand, just how difficult it can be!