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No more bargain-basement used guns for me - there's a reason they're for sale in the first place.

What amazed me was the Marlin: the beam from the laser bore sighter wasn't visible outside the barrel, so I was shooting sideways. Somebody probably used it as a crowbar for a few years, moving boulders around, until he thought: "I wonder if I can get fifty bucks for this?"

But the woodwork was puhrty, and it had a gold trigger...oooh, pimped. The scope looked nice at targets as far away as the pawnshop door.

The Mosin now... what the heck did Ivan make that stock out of? Old matchsticks and 20 lbs of lacquer? They've got forests 5000 miles long, more trees than Obama's got flies, and they had to scrimp on wood?

But the CZ, that's a work of art. Hasbro-quality plastic handles and a special recoil-enhancing system that doubles the force entering your wrist, but not enough to move the slide. Which doesn't matter, because that cheap lacquered-steel Tokarev 'brass' has welded itself inside the breech.

Nope, guns are like chewing gum and wimmin' - never take a used piece.