Black cotton socks are my preference in the fall and winter months.
Unfortunately, I'm in the same boat you are - lots of right socks, a bit deficient in the left ones.
I'm convinced that left-sock gnomes are stealing them at night when I sleep.
And of course, you just know they're being paid by George Soros.
Wow! I had never had of sock gnomes before. Turns out they’ve been researched by others:
Sock gnomes
You guys know gnomes. The little bastards are only dependable for one thing, and that’s mischief. Gnomes are like a tiny version of the Mafia: they insinuate themselves into everything, usually without the general populace knowing. Here’s the general routine for a sock gnome:
1. At Gnome Central, locate your washer and dryer on the GSC (gnomish supercomputer).
2. Using advanced technology and the RFID tags previously placed into your socks at the factory by RFID gnomes, who are also everywhere, the gnomes pick out socks that look appealing and will sell for much money.
3. Select some tools. Popular choices are grappling hooks, crowbars, and squeaky shoes.
4. Hop in the Gnomemobile and drive to your house.
5. Sneak in through a window, making sure to knock out dogs and/or small children with tranquilizer darts. These are removed once the gnomes are inside — they wouldn’t want people to find the darts and analyze the tranquilizers, as gnomes are also years ahead with their chemistry.
6. Using the backdoors built into your washer and dryer by backdoor gnomes at the factory, enter the machine.
7. Make away with socks, making sure not to take too many of the same kind — wouldn’t want to make prices fall by flooding the market with Abe Lincoln socks. Gnomes are also economics geniuses.
8. Sell the socks, either on eBay or through the sock black market.
9. Buy crack cocaine and Huey Lewis and the News albums. Have a fun evening.
Defensive tactics:
Set out gnome traps around your home. Clever as gnomes are, they cannot resist getting a new hat or perhaps a little blow. Bait the traps accordingly, but make sure to conceal them well. Another option is find the backdoor in your dryer and reëngineer it such that it isn’t openable from the inside. Make sure to leave a snack in the dryer; gnomes bite viciously if they haven’t had a snack in a while should you free them without the aid of very strong gloves.