Posted on 10/29/2010 1:48:58 AM PDT by grassboots.org
I was bullied as a child by classmates and a parent, and can verify that it leaves a lifelong mark. Parents: tell your children that bullying is wrong under any circumstances, and to have the courage to stand up for those who are bullied. If only one person had done that for me once it would have made a world of difference. But no one did.
I also have a regret of revealing information that allowed another girl to be bullied, which I regret very much, just as the author did. The heart is deceitful above all things, and wants to strike out when it is hurt.
America will be better off without the bully, with the chip on his shoulder, who occupies the White House. He sets a terrible example for our children.
You are right about that.
I was small and picked on by one kid bigger than me in 8th grade. In my senior year I was bigger and he paid the piper . Its a natural pecking order .
My brother was bullied terribly and I think it still affects him. I have never seen a grown man with so little confidence.
Am I the only one who is sick and tired of the whining that goes on about this subject.....what will the "feel good" crowd think up next that isn't "fair". Wake up folks...there are a host of things in life that isn't "fair" and you need to figure out how to deal with bullys early on.....they will be around your entire life.
I agree about the whining. This is not a federal issue, in fact it isn’t even a state or local government issue unless a crime has taken place.
It is an ethical issue, however.
I have a special needs kid. The stories I hear about bullying from that group of kids is very sad, and lots of those kids cannot stand up for themselves.
Lots of parents try to help their kids, and the schools do not do anything about bullying. Even private schools turn a blinds eye to bullying.
The reason it’s getting so much attention is because kids are actually dying as a result of bullying. Some are dying because violence has been ramped up in the school system, and then others are driven to commit suicide.
I have news for you, bud. Some of us weren’t fortunate enough to have parents who were interested/smart enough to instruct us how to properly deal with bullies. You can bet I know how to deal with them now — just as I’m dealing with you. You, mister, have no heart. And you probably haven’t considered that it isn’t “ladylike” for women to deal with bullies the way you’re accustomed to. Once again, you’re heartless.
I have news for you, bud. Some of us weren’t fortunate enough to have parents who were interested/smart enough to instruct us how to properly deal with bullies. You can bet I know how to deal with them now — just as I’m dealing with you. You, mister, have no heart. And you probably haven’t considered that it isn’t “ladylike” for women to deal with bullies the way you’re accustomed to. Once again, you’re heartless.
Bullying is a real problem, and the effects of it last throughout adulthood.
Studies show that people who have been bullied tend to have difficulty forming attachments later in life. They can suffer from low self-confidence and depression. They are more likely to attempt suicide. The effects are not trivial.
It is not true that bullies will be around for your entire life. An adult who gets bullied at work has a range of options open, because those behaviors are against the law. In the Army, we get training quarterly on how to deal with harassment issues, and our legal options if we feel we can’t deal with it. If the bullying situation happens outside of the workplace, the victim still has legal options.
I get a little tired of hearing that “kids should just learn to toughen up and deal with it.” Bullying is just another term for harassment or abuse, except that it’s perpetrated by children. You wouldn’t tell a victim of spouse or child abuse to just deal with it, would you? Then why say that to the victim when the perpetrators are other children?
The only time of course that schools intervene is when the victim fights back against the bully. Only then the victim is punished under those "zero tolerance" rules.
Thank you for that. I am a 50 year old single woman who has never been married and has dealt with serious depression my entire life.It is a huge price to pay for something you have no control over as a child.
I’m so sick of hearing about “bullying” “unfairness” “safe school” B.S. The whole movement is lead by weak, selfish, emotionally-stunted adults.
And guess why they’re emotionally stunted? Consider yourself lucky.
You are right about the whining. This is not a federal issue or even a state or local government issue unless a crime has been committed.
It is an ethical one, however.
I was bullied mercilessly as a kid, but I developed coping skills which put an end to it by high school (made BIG friends, made bigger muscles, developed a tough looking exterior..), but there are those who simply can't, especially some white and asian kids (I am hispanic, and while I was very short, I was able to look tough).
So while I get tired of hearing about this, I do think its something we should take care of instead of giving kids a pass on it.
I was moved by your post. I, too, was bullied by family members and, in turn, sometimes bullied my classmates. Still feel bad about it; still dealing with the consequences of being bullied. What happened to you was real; don’t let anyone tell you “to get over it.”
Miss marlemstein. It is crucially important that victims "get over it". Would you rather they relive the incident every day for their entire life? I don't think that's wise at all. They have to get over it to live a full life.
Malkee. Get over it. I don't mean forget it as if it never happened. I mean forgive your attackers and do the best you can to recover from it.
As long as you are holding on to the offense you will never heal. Those who bullied you most probably don't even remember your name, yet you are holding this hurt and offense against them. Holding on to such things hurts you again every day and does nothing to them.
Forgiveness truly is the first step to healing.
I went to a Catholic elementary school. for the first 6 years or so I was the kid who was beaten up every day at recess (by just about the whole class). I used to go home for lunch and not show back up at school until the bell was about to ring just to keep myself safe. No help from the teachers ("Oh they're just playing") or anyone else. That was just life.
I could have gathered that hurt inside myself and nursd it along for years letting it poison everything in my life. But I didn't. I forgave and things got better.
(I was also molested for a period of years with the same results. I found there also that forgiveness is essential to healing)
So malkee, I say this in all gentleness and with your own best interest at heart. Get over it.
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