I said: “I hope you’re not converting to islam.”
(Random uptight replies followed)
“That’s a crappy thing to say to a guy who has for years here been one of the fiercest advocates for snuffing the jihadis.”
“And a perfect example of the lowering of discourse that has driven him off. It’s not the first time in the past few weeks that his commitment to America has been questioned.”
Folks, maybe people are WOUND TOO TIGHT around here. My islam comment was a random silly joke. Was the first thing that popped into my head, when I noticed the thread from someone leaving Freep. Has nothing to do with him personally or his views, since I don’t know what his views are.
“My islam comment was a random silly joke. Was the first thing that popped into my head....”
Reinforcing why some here observe what he posted, and agree with him.
It would only take a few seconds to click his page, and see the first lines are a quote from the Bible.
A tiny bit of thought at that point might lead a thoughtful person to not make snide remarks.
People are wound tight, that’s for sure.
It is a general problem with written communication. People know themselves, and when reading people responding to them, they assume that the other person has the same access to knowledge.
Further, you have no visual clues about how your conversation is being interpreted. If you were in a room with him, he would see your face and probably know you were being funny. And if he didn’t, you’d see the negative reaction on his face and explain it was a joke and say you were sorry, and he’d realize he had overreacted, and you’d move on.
In the e-mail/slow-chat world like this, he reads your comment; he knows he is under death threats for his faith, and (speculation) maybe perceives the personal glee over things like koran-burning here as putting HIS life in direct danger (think about that, if the MILITARY is afraid of getting killed over koran-burning, how would an American Christian civilian living in a middle-eastern country feel?
For all we know, he has people around him who DO try to convert him. Further, he just went through a stroke of conversation in another thread in the past week where it seemed someone attacked him for being from Lebanon, as if he should keep quiet about what happens HERE (another somewhat of a misunderstanding).
SO he sees your comment, has no way of judging the purpose, and starts thinking, it could be nothing, or it could be something, and it makes me mad.
Then, and this is the important part, because we are TRAINED in verbal/visual communication. His brain expects that if you were being friendly, you will react to his “response” and fix it. But you don’t — because you can’t see him. And his brain starts telling him this is serious. And the more he waits, the more he stews. By the time he’s ready to respond, he’s no longer in the “what did you mean” place, he’s in the “I hate you for attacking me” place.
It’s important for all of us to remember that. As a published opinion writer, I often get e-mails from friends and enemies alike that have a bone to pick with somethihng I’ve said. And if they are several paragraphs long, you can almost ALWAYS see this progression. It starts polite, the first paragraph expresses the disagreement in conversational form. The second paragraph then restates it more forcefully, as if you disagreed with their first paragraph. By the third paragraph, they express exasperation that you aren’t understanding, and then they start name-calling.
It’s because they were writing as if they were talking to me, and I was staring at them without responding in any way. Their brain expected response, and guided their next statements.
Anyway, I know this is long-winded. I like giving my theory of internet communication.
It’s why as childish as it may seem, emoticons and sarcasm tags have a real place, as the replace the visual cues.