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The words are used differently, and Dr. Laura is not a public official. Here is the Rahm Emmanuel Quotation:

."Some attendees said they were planning to air ads attacking conservative Democrats who were balking at Mr. Obama's health-care overhaul. 'F—ing retarded,'

Dr. Laura Quotation:

SCHLESSINGER: Black guys use it all the time. Turn on HBO, listen to a black comic, and all you hear is n-----, n-----, n-----.

[...]

CALLER: It's OK to say that word?

SCHLESSINGER: It depends how it's said.

(There is more, but it is along the same lines).

It DOES make a difference that Emmanuel called someone the word, meaning it as an epithet, while Dr. Laura was mainly describing how other people use the word, and didn't call anyone by it. She did repeat it, many more times. Unlike black comedians, she did not use an f-bomb as a modifier. The same cannot be said for Emmanuel. It can also be noted that Emmanuel's noted was meant for limited consumption, while Dr. Laura's response was aired on many radio stations, and meant to be heard.

Based on all that, I can see perfectly consistent people taking any of four positions. Both are offensive; neither are offensive; Emmanuel is offensive and Dr. Laura isn't; Dr. Laura is offensive and Emmanuel isn't.

There are a bunch of other arguments that can be brought in (the mentally handicapped cannot really defend themselves so well against such terms... whether n----- is offensive seems to depend on who says it, etc.)

For my part, I didn't see Emmanuel's semi-private note as a hanging offense, but I don't find Palin incocsistent if she finds one objectionable and the other not.