You are, literally, our only chance at retaining any of our ancestral knowledge and thereby holding the promise of re-instituting our greatness (once we are relieved of the monsters currently killing us off).
And by the way, I'd hire your kids in a second, but they have to be paid offshore.
I don't do business under this regime, and I refuse to feed the Beast with any taxes.
Frowning takes 68 muscles.
Smiling takes 6.
Pulling this trigger takes 2.
I'm lazy.