Here is a hypothetical for you, not at all far-fetched. I am interested in how you would deal with the following:
Your son (I don’t even know if you have one, just play along) marries a cute girl and they have a baby. Your daughter-in-law stays home with baby while your son works full time. You begin to notice an odor when you visit, the occasional glassy eye, and since you were not born yesterday you quickly realize she is a regular marijuana smoker in the home.
You ask your son about it - yep, she uses her bong first thing in the morning, and occasionally during the day when she can. After dinner it’s smoke and watch movies time. She is just a regular heavy marijuana user.
Is that ok with you? Would you really not be concerned about your infant/toddler/little granddaughter growing up with that “supervision,” that influence, that example? You think nothing should be done with your daughter in law until and if something bad happens to your grandkid due to her neglect/paranoia?
Would you hire a baby sitter or nanny who used recreational drugs?
Friends of mine have raised some of the finest, most honest, most hard working kids (now adults) while smoking daily. That’s not a hypothetical that’s a fact. If I had had children I don’t know why I would have done any differently. I certainly wouldn’t presume to tell my adult children how they should live. If I had any problem with them I would tell them how I felt about it and let them make their own choices.
How about we make a decision on whether alcohol should be legal using that as our baseline example?