Her brother has been dead for about 10 years and when she asked, "Where is Glenn?" I lied! I told her he was at the store. Pacified her. We "played that game" at least 10,000 times over the years.
Attitude is EVERYTHING! You can enjoy the ride or let it drive you crazy!
I have help 7 days a week and am able to get out when I want to. That is a big help. Everyday we find something about my mother to laugh about.
AWESOME way to look at it!
My mother had anger issues in the past, but I've noticed now that she seems more at peace - and actually, on the whole - she seems to be happier now. It's like someone said, they are finally carefree.
What a wonderful post! Thank you.
I do take exception to you saying, “I lied!” Because at some level, I don’t think you did lie. At least not in a come-to-Jesus way that you need to repent of. ;)
That, really, was the whole point of what the nurse was telling me from observing how many years of these types of conversations. Just let the person enjoy what they are enjoying and don’t feel bad about playing along. Your mom probably got a smile out of thinking about Glenn being at the store, maybe buying a pair of socks for those gnarly feet of his or picking up some mints to bring her. Who knows? All I know is that this is a much happier way to handle things.
I’m glad you have help and can get out. And the laughing is so good. Anyone who has ever asked, why do people have to suffer toward the end of their lives? I don’t know, but I have seen many times when those last years, weeks, days brought the opportunity to serve, to learn compassion, gratitude, to make things right, to become prepared for the separation death brings.
In my book, God doesn’t waste our tears. This is not to sugarcoat how hard it is to care for someone who, essentially, is living the Long Good-bye. But it is not all for naught.
My mother passed at 102. Her years after around 95 were tough.
We had her in a home and since I lived 200 miles away I couldn’t see her as often as I wanted. But a few observations. Very much in line with yours.
Don’t correct them when they digress back to childhood friends and family.
The other members of the family that were closer to her proximity and visited more often would often correct her as to who they were.
My mom used to call me by her brother’s name. I let her.
They remember childhood like it was yesterday.
JMHO.. They lose the ability to discern dreams from reality. They dream about ‘the old days’ and when they awake are still in that dream.