Tiger will divorce his wife
Tiger will marry Rachel Uterus
Tiger will become a born again christian
Tiger will return with all of his sponsors
Tiger will play for 6 months
Tiger will be forgiven
Tiger will divorce Rachel
Tiger will stop being a Born again christian
Truth is...Tiger's got a porn problem (he can just afford the real thing instead of just the magazine!
If he doesn't fix it, it's gonna eat him alive!
Which means that the “born again” experience was a total sham.