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I like trivia and Im full of useless information. My husband tells me Im over-emotional. I will then cry, shake my fist, pull a bunch of odd faces, tell him that Im a woman, and then I tell him to piss off. Its always better to be pissed off than to be pissed on, at any rate.
I have a very odd sense of humor. I used to perform in a cover band, what feels like a lifetime ago and Im still a total rock star in the car. I havent sold my expensive microphone. Its still wrapped up in its pretty leather case, buried in the bowels of my closet. American Idol, here I come. Before I get too old, anyway. I promise Ill make the cheesiest faces and flash my fingers when they announce my number to vote. On that note, vote for me.
Id love to have a friend with Tourettes Syndrome. I could then be myself out in public and no one would bat an eye. Theyd say, Hey, theres that guy/girl with Tourettes and their psycho sidekick, Sarah. If any of you have Tourettes; or know someone with Tourettes, please email me. I promise fun times and companionship.
Random noises at the most inappropriate times are the greatest.
I smoke cigarettes and dont want to quit because I will gain weight. Hows that for self-esteem, fellow feminists? Im a word-nerd that lacks a necessary amount of math skills. I still count on my fingers.
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"In closing, I hope you like me around here. Id like to stick around. In the words of my equally insane but poetically-prophetic father: I hope I fit like a finger in a bulls ass.
Offhand, I'm betting that she fits more like a horse's ass.