Yes, well when it comes to vacuous claims I appear to be talking to the expert.
Rule 6 of the Federal Rules of Criminal Procedure states: "When the public interest so requires, the court must order that one or more grand juries be summoned." The courts, not a bunch of lunkheads who may or may not have ever read the Constitution to begin with.
By the by, I did read the counts in the “presentment.” The second is the best—”You're a criminal because I say so, dang it!” Good demonstration of why courts don't take this type of thing seriously.
Maybe they should try “You're a criminal because I say THE GOD OF ISRAEL says so.”