Actually, I volunteer to go right here right now. Thing is I keep breathing so I guess it is not my time ... yet
I admit to wanting to go to heaven......but not yet....another 60 years or so please.
We’re not supposed to look at it that way, that is why the idea of suicide is not acceptable to most, throughout history.
This is just wooley headed thinking. Counting the days until you die? To me that sounds like major Depression. Or possibly suicidal thoughts coming through a Depression, with the Depression being the natural bodily defence mechanism to acting out suicidal thoughts. I would reccommend a course of anti-depressants, maybe Wellbutrin, but also monitoring so that when the Depression layer comes off and motivations come back to the person that they dont use those motivations to kill themselves.
In this life we must be impeccable warriors. We have to be smart, we have to Know our world and we have to try to out-think the world and stay a few moves ahead of it. We have to remember that even if we don’t have any KNOWN enemies, thermodynamics is always there watching us for any slip ups so that it can reduce us down to the background ambient temperature (of dirt 6 feet down). We must be impeccable and not over indulge in feelings, and waves of useless emotions.
I worked for a particular person for 26 years who was a high up muckymuck in the Mormon church. Higher than Glenn Beck. He was always talking about the Kingdom of Heaven and which planet he was going to get to lord over after he died and this and that, on and on, to where if the occasion ever arouse that we would ever speak of anything except the problems at hand with the work we were doing on the job, it was always about what was coming to him after he croaked.
That pissed me off. It had been building in me this anger because I knew that otherwise he was a pretty smart guy but all he ever talked about was death and dying and what he would get after he did. So like any system analyst I was trying to figure out why he affected me like this. Was this boss of mine just greedy? Like the time he had been given on this planet wasn’t enough and would do anything to get more? Was I pissed because of the dichotomy of someone who was at once technical dealing in hard and fast, calculatable projects with designed outcomes, all the while dreaming about what a post-mortem king he was going to be in some dreamed up afterlife fantasy world?
So one day this was going on pretty hard and heavy, after a long discussion about technical details of our current project somehow his conversation turned to, yeah its a rotten world, and yeah the Prince of Peace is going to come soon so who cares about all of this (he gestures around), yeah the world is dying so who cares, its a rotten place compared to where he was going soon...
So I said to him: “You sound like you WANT to die...” like he was just counting the days and couldn’t wait. Like he wished that it wouldn’t be an antireligious and antimoral thing if he could just take a gun and blow his own brains out so that he could go and see Jesus.
After asking him that question his eyes went totally WIDE open and he immediatly started to fidget and sweat a little bit, and all those wild ideas about his glorious afterlife which had oozed out and was suffocating the room just seemed to suck right back into him and then the gates slammed shut.
Some years later I found out that back in the mid-50s about the time I was born, he had been in a mental ward for only a period of time dealing with feelings of wanting to die. Even though he was working with those problems, by trying to be the Impeccable Warrior most of his life he was able to keep those thoughts mostly under control. He would not usually allow himself to over indulge in negative thoughts and emotions of death and dying.
We need less “oh me, oh my, woe is me, I wish my afterlife would come soon” and more “lets shake off the blues, and be positive and creative, strong, vigilant and protective because life demands it”
:)