Replies

And I am sad for him that he was married to a woman who couldn't do that, and apparently (based on the emails), never could.

Mmmm . . . maybe. Don't believe everything you read in the emails of an unfaithful husband.

You know, it's quite possible that when the marriage began, Mrs Sanford thought her husband was the most wonderful man in the world. She probably did or she wouldn't have married him. And then she found out over the years that he wasn't wonderful at all. Maybe she understands him very well and knows he's a sleazeball. It's tough to be supportive and loving then. I've seen this a million times.

It's possible that no wife on earth could provide enough support and worship for the ego of a narcissist (and most politicians are narcissistic). Living in the DC area as I do, I've seen this more than a few times, too.

It's also possible that Maria Belen Chapur would have discarded Mark or he her if they had had a chance to be with one another full time to see each other's shortcomings and errors and humanity. It's easy to romanticize about someone when you can't see them for long and just have time for passion. Seen that as well.

Don't blame the victim here.

Whether Jenny thought Mark was the most wonderful man in the world is secondary to making him feel that way-- telling him, showing him. Mark suggested that Jenny was never a loving and affectionate woman and that he only realized that mattered recently, and while he was in politics. Jenny has her good qualities, but Mark was never emotionally connected to her in a soulmate kind of way. And, I'm not really blaming Jenny for that (the victim, as you put it). Jenny is who she is. It's quite likely that the girl from the rich family was raised to be a cold fish, intentionally or unintentionally. Mark was young and stupid when he met her and married her and didn't ask himself basic questions that a pre-marriage counselor would ask. He may have been attracted to her wealth, her family's power and influence, her beauty, whatever-- but he didn't realize that is all superficial. He may have even married her for even less worthwhile reasons, like she was there and he thought marriage is what he was supposed to do around the age he was at the time.

I empathize with many of the things Mark wrote in those emails because I could have written them, too. I totally understand where he's coming from. I understand how a part of him wishes he could hit a reset button on his life so he'd be free to make the right decision and be with someone he was in love with and not merely loved, and for that someone to feel the same way about him-- and to not have all of the collateral damage from going in that direction at this stage in his life.