Dear Mr. Pappas,
You may not be aware of the fact that the state of Hawaii no longer keeps physical records of birth on file.
Everything is now digitized and stored on a secured database for access by only those who are authorized to do so.
If you will kindly show us some patience to complete our transition over to the digital database, we will be happy to provide a digital copy of the President’s records upon his approval.
Now please go do your job and stop that mad man in southeast Asia from nuking us... or nobody gets nothin.
Regards,
Gov. Lingle (/satire)
Are they setting Hawaii up to be the gateway for terrorists.
To all US Citizens born in the state of Hawaii,
As you may know, we are in the process of converting health records over to a digital format.
Unfortunately, we have experienced some data loss as a result of some faulty hardware. Future requests for re-prints of your original birth certificates may require the issuance of a revised copy which includes a new serial number.
We apologize for any inconvenience.
Gov. Lingle (/satire)