And I am too old to give them such deference. I sold all my weapons and sit at home waiting to fight them hand-to-hand don’tchaknow.
I would be defenseless but for my back up stash of chopsticks and tickling feathers. Oh and my secret supply of wet noodles.
I am well prepared and with a six pack of diet Coke and a box of twinkies, I can ride out nearly any disaster that may befall this country. I will hunker down in my two story bunker that is bounded by a four inch gutter to impede or dissuade attack. From there any attacker will have to cross the very narrowest strip of grass, one is allowed in California. This is also a part of my defense and has a 5% grade, spanning 10 feet. This also designed to slow an attack and tire them as I take them down with the very finest of chop sticks that could be employed as defense.
Should they breach my inner sanctum and I am prepared with lighters and hairspray. No one can survive the hairdo of a mall rat from the 80’s or a bad mullet from a band of the same era.
Yeah tho I walk....