Oh you hit a nerve. I started reading Royko when I was in 7th grade and read him til his death. In fact, I remember how terrible I felt when he died. His columns were just hilarious - I remember laughing out loud regularly. I have two books on him.
Meanwhile, one of the columns I’ve been unable to find and it’s the one where the guy tries to cross the train tracks or something and he gets stuck on top of the train with his lunch bag....
Also, did you know that several years ago there was a movie with John Belushi and a brunette actress whose name I’ve forgotten (but she was big in the 80’s) and it was loosely based on Royko - it was pretty funny.
I believe you are thinking of the movie called “Continental Divide”. Funny funny movie.