Jerry’s 10 commandments for legal immigration...
JERRY DOYLE”S LEGAL IMMIGRATION 10 COMMANDMENTS
“1. IF YOU ENTER THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA ILLEGALLY OR OVERSTAY YOUR VISA, YOU WILL NEVER BE ELIGIBLE TO BECOME A CITIZEN OF THE US. NO EXCEPTIONS. “
This is what used to be called ‘common sense’. Not that it matters to the people who are willing to break laws to come here, but it lays out exactly what people can expect NOT to expect, should they decide to do so.
“2. IF YOU HIRE SOMEONE WHO IS ILLEGAL, YOU AND / OR YOUR BUSINESS WILL BE FINED $50,000.00 PER EMPLOYEE. “STRICT LIABILITY” WILL BE THE LEGAL STANDARD. “
I had heard that Reagan wanted the fine to be $1 million, and the standards to be whereas a set percentage of employees were illegal. Incidentally, I believe that the ‘strict liability’ statement is basically saying that ignorance is no excuse.
“3. THE POLICY OF “ANCHOR BABIES” IS NO LONGER THE LAW. YOU ARE ONLY ELIGIBLE TO BE A CITIZEN OF THE UNITED STATES IF YOU ARE BORN “OF” A CITIZEN OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA.”
“4. “SANCTUARY CITIES AND / OR STATES” WILL RECEIVE NO FEDERAL TAX DOLLAR REVENUE SHARING OR MATCHING. FEDERAL HIGHWAY SPEED LIMIT STANDARDS WILL BE THE TEMPLATE.”
Can I get an ‘Awwwww Yeeeeaaaahhhh’?
“5. “SANCTUARY HOUSES OF WORSHIP”, IN DIRECT VIOLATION OF US LAW, WILL LOSE THEIR TAX EXEMPT STATUS.”
“6. FINANCIAL INSTITUTIONS, DOING BUSINESS IN THE UNITED STATES, WILL BE PROHIBITED FROM OFFERING AND PROVIDING ANY INCENTIVE PROGRAM(S), ANY DISCOUNT LOAN(S), SUBSIDIZED CHECKING AND / OR SAVINGS ACCOUNT(S) OR ANY “SPECIAL” OFFER(S) TO ANYONE IN THIS COUNTRY ILLEGALLY.”
Now if this isn’t already a law, then every lawmaker in the country should be fired for public display of ‘jackassery’.
“7. PUBLIC EDUCATION, MEDICAL AND DENTAL SERVICES, HOUSING, SOCIAL SERVICES, FOOD STAMPS, SOCIAL SECURITY, MEDICARE, SSDI AND ANY OTHER US GOVERNMENT PROGRAM WILL BE FOR THE BENEFIT OF LEGAL RESIDENTS OF THE UNITED STATES ONLY.”
This one is law.
“8. ANY PERSON(S), CHARITABLE ORGANIZATION(S), OR BUSINESS ENTITY THAT HARBORS ANY ILLEGAL ALIEN(S) WILL BE AUTOMATICALLY BE CHARGED WITH A FEDERAL OFFENSE AND LOSE THEIR CITIZENSHIP.”
Again, I can hear the caterwauling already. “But but but... Joe Citizen had some illegal guy cutting his grass. Surely you don’t think he ought to lose his citizenship for that, are you mad?!?!?” Cutting grass and ‘harboring’ illegals are two completely different beasts. See Commandment #2. Joe ought to think about getting off his likely voluminous butt and cutting his own damned grass.
“9. GUEST WORKER VISAS WILL BE ISSUED ON A 5 YEAR TRAILING AVERAGE OF THE AGGREAGATE NUMBER OF VISAS ISSUED WITH ADJUSTMENTS FOR PROJECTED GDP GROWTH AND / OR CONTRACTION.”
This kind of reminded me of the old Steve Martin bit about the ‘Crimestoppers Oath’
I promise not to bully my friends.
I promise not to leave my keys in the car.
I promise not to depriciate nontaxable items brought forth from the previous tax year.
GOOD!
I hate legaleze, but this looks to me to say that as the GDP goes up the volume of visas issued will go up and vice versa.
“10. ENGLISH WILL BE THE ONLY LANGUAGE USED IN THE PUBLIC WORKPLACE, PUBLIC EDUCATION, FEDERAL GOVERNMENT OFFICES AND FACILITIES, HOSPITALS AND RELATED MEDICAL FACILITIES AND THE FEDERAL COURT SYSTEM. ALL VOTING FOR FEDERAL OFFICES WILL BE DONE IN ENGLISH ONLY.”
Can I get an AMEN?? Hallelujah!
Excellent. The only trouble is it requires too much common sense and concern for America’s future and culture for most of our pandering politicians to grasp!
Excellent. I’ll vote for Jerry! The commandments require too much common sense for most of our pandering politicians because they assume some concern for America’s future welfare and culture.