DSL is good. OS-X good too, btw.
First things first:
If you want city level service out in the sticks, either pay for it by having a microwave link or T-1 line strung to your house, or expect to be disappointed.
DSL is dependent upon distance from the telco switch, satellite will always be slow because of latencies between ground and far up in space. Cable may work, but that is entirely up to your provider - many have incompatible wiring setups.
Or petition your congress critter for another subsidy for “poor rural folk”.