Al Gore's Tale (with due credit to Geoffrey Chaucer for the original)

4/28/08 | Winged Hussar 1683

[Winged Hussar]

Al Gore reinvents the medieval racket of selling indulgences (pardons for one's sins, worth hundreds of years of penance in an invisible Purgatory). With due credit to Geoffrey Chaucer for the original:

Now, good men, Earth forgive you each trespass,

And keep you from the sin of greenhouse gas.

My carbon offsets cure and will suffice,

So that it gains me gold, or silver brings,

Or else, I care not- brooches, spoons or rings.

You must embrace fully Al Gore’s line of bull,

While o’er your eyes we will pull the wool!

An offset certificate I’ll give you, anon,

And into environmental bliss you’ll go, each one.

For I’ll absolve you, by Kyoto’s special power,

You that send me money, as Green this hour

As you were born.

And lo, sirs, thus I preach.

And the United Nations, who is a parasitic leech,

So grant you each his offset to receive;

For that is best; I will not you deceive.

But, sirs, you must swallow my whole tale;

I’ve carbon credits in my pouch that cannot fail,

As good as Kyoto Treaty ever saw, I vow,

The which I got by kindness of Al Gore.

If dollars your change of heart and mind reveal,

You’ll get my absolution while you kneel.

Come forth, and send me your lucre bright,

And quickly I’ll set your consciences aright;

Or else receive a carbon credit as you wend,

All new and fresh as every mile shall end,

So that you offer me each time, anew,

More gold and silver, all good coins and true.

It is an honour to each one that’s here

That you may have a competent pardoner

To give you carbon offsets to you acquit,

For all greenhouse gases you may emit.

[Winged Hussar]

Reproduction and circulation is encouraged.

[dighton]

Heere Bigynneth the Tale of the Asse-Hatte.

[Winged Hussar]

Iowahawk’s piece is admittedly better than mine.

[steelyourfaith]

8^)

 

Beam me to Planet Gore !

[dighton]

Glad you enjoyed his. Bump to yours and thanks for posting.

[Nipfan]

This is the same poem which appears at the end of a very interesting and amusing Israpundit article called -

http://www.israpundit.com/2008/?p=846

The Whole thing is well worth the read.

[Nipfan]

I tried to bold the title and it disappeared! Here it is -

Barack Obama: A Cross Between Elmer Gantry and Jack Cade
with Albert Gore as Chaucer’s Pardoner

[Winged Hussar]

I’m the author :-)

[MosesKnows]

Well done. It's going to cost a fortune when Al "the boob" Gore decides to tackle that pesky continental drift problem.

[Nipfan]

Congratulations! You managed to wholly encapsulate my feelings on both Obama and global warming and provide a good laugh at the same time. I passed it on to several people.