[sinanju]

JOHN SEMMENS: Semi-News — A Satirical Look at Recent News

[ModelBreaker]

“Hitler killed millions to promote his dream of fascist world conquest,” asserted Majority Leader, Lev Dupovich. “Stalin liquidated the enemies of Communism. It was a completely different thing.”

Well, there you have it. It's perfectly obvious to anyone who has any sense at all.

[VeniVidiVici]

Dupovich complained that statistics indicating Stalin killed more (estimated 40 million) than Hitler (estimated 20 million) are “an unfair comparison.” “Hitler was in power for only 12 years,” Dupovich reminded. “Stalin ruled for nearly 30 years. So, the annual toll for Hitler was nearly 1.7 million, whereas for Stalin it was only 1.4 million. Stalin ought to get some credit for killing fewer than he could have, given his opportunity. He showed more forbearance than he had to.”

Quote of the week. Condensed, this would make a great t-shirt.