By request: Twin Spin!
CRUSTY THE PANTSUIT
Tune: "Frosty the Snowman"
Crusty the pantsuit
Was like clothes that you'd discard,
With a sweat-stained top
And a stretched-out butt
And two legs that smelled like lard.
Crusty the pantsuit
Was pulled out most ev'ry day.
As she put it on,
Hilly sang this song:
"Black is slimming, so they say."
She must have bought the pantsuit from
A wizard or an elf,
For when she took it off at night,
It stood up all by itself!
Oh . . .
Crusty the pantsuit
Was a fashion felony,
But the Freepers say,
"We can laugh and play
With these threads on Hillary."
Frumpety frump frump,
Frumpety frump frump,
Look at Crusty glow.
Rumpety rump rump,
Rumpety rump rump,
Over the Hill we go!
.
PANTSUIT IN THE WIND
Tune: "Candle in the Wind"
Hello, Crusty Queen,
Though you never cleaned it at all,
You had the guts to wear your suit
While those around you crawled.
They crawled out of the odor
And they kept on holding their nose,
They shouted from a distance
And they begged you, "Change your clothes."
And it seems to me you wore your clothes
Like a pantsuit in the wind,
Never knowing what to change to
When the stains set in.
And I would have liked to have worn one,
But it would make me ill.
Your perfume wore out long before
Your pantsuit ever will.
SUZANNE
Suzanne takes you down to her place with indoor plumbing
You can hear the Butts go by
You can spend the night expelling
‘Cause you know that she’s got two-ply
And that’s why you want to be there
And she gives you toilet paper
That comes marked “For Marshall County”
And just when you mean to ask her
That you wonder how she got it
Then she gets you on her toilet
And she lets the paper answer
That you really want to use more
And you don’t care how she got it
And you don’t care if she’s fined
And you know that she will get more
For you’ve touched her toilet paper to your behind.