Posted on 12/20/2007 10:44:11 AM PST by Charles Henrickson
Everybody's talkin' 'bout me
I don't hear a word they're sayin'
Only the hands held on my ears
People mock and laughin'
I can't see their faces
'Specially in case I disappear
I'm goin' where I stand with Sheehan
In a roadside ditch
Goin' where the weather suits my clothes
Headin' off to my happy place
Even if in my mind
And skippin' over the dancepad in my home
Pitt Ping!
top ten!
#3!
top 10
it’s the pitts.
D'oh!
“Pungent Pied Piper Picked (and Pickled), film at 11” top 5.
I am still calling it a business top 5.
How dare the DUmmies question the wisdom of the mighty William “Whiskey Rivers” Pitt?
benburch LOVES giving Will warm receptions.
Pitt must have returned only after discovering there indeed was a door nob on Bukowski’s bathroom door.
Feel the Love!
Honestly, Pitt bores me. He’s become a caricature of a caricature.
I hadn’t noticed the angelic Lil Beaver before. It he new?
.
INDICT FITZMAS
Tune: "White Christmas"
I'm fixing to indict Fitzmas
Just 'cause it never seems to show.
With the networks massing
And hours passing,
I hear crickets chirping no.
I'm fixing to indict Fitzmas
With every angry post I write.
May our frogs start marching tonight,
Because all these Fitzmases aren't right!
.
IT'S BEGINNING TO LOOK A LOT LIKE FITZMAS
Tune: "It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas"
It's beginning to look a lot like Fitzmas
Never will arrive
We've been waiting since who knows when
We've missed it once again
So wake me when it's twenty twenty-five.
It's beginning to look a lot like Fitzmas
Won't include a Rove
'Cause it looks like his name's been shoved
To the very back burner of
The indictment stove.
A pair of federal counts with long prison amounts
Is the wish of goodboy and ben
Crowds that will gawk as he does a perp walk
Is the hope of Will Pitt and friends
The DUmmie Ants would love the chance to send Rove to the pen!
It's beginning to look a lot like Fitzmas
Never will appear
Now the crew at the courthouse door
Is looking kind of bored
'Cause they've been there since earlier this year.
It's beginning to look a lot like Fitzmas
Comes in fits and starts
But the funniest thing of all
Are the hopes that rise and fall
In the DUmmies' hearts!
.
THE TWENTY-FOUR (BUSINESS) HOURS OF FITZMAS
Tune: "The Twelve Days of Christmas"
On the twenty-fourth hour of Fitzmas
My truthout gave to me:
Twenty-four bonus hours
Twenty-three bogus sources
Twenty-two sealed indictments
Twenty-one new excitements
Twenty Leopolds leaping
Nineteen FReepers freeping
Eighteen crowded dockets
Seventeen Sonny Crocketts
Sixteen corks a-popping
Fifteen-hour meeting
Fourteen Freudenschades
Thirteen Pipers piping
Twelve DUmmies griping
Eleven Roves a-packing
Ten dollars lacking
Nine shots at Skinner
Eight crows for dinner
Seven crews amassing
Six days a-passing
Five LOUSY TROLLS!
Four Patton Boggs
Three fresh blogs
Two marching frogs
And a Pitt ribbed in a parody!
BLUE FITZMAS
Tune: "Blue Christmas"
By Jason Leopold
I'll have a blue Fitzmas without news
I've got those Blew It Bigtime Truthout Blues
No indictments were read on that day back in May
Don't be dismayed, friends, it's just a slight delay
And when those cruel DUmmies start tauntin'
That's when those blue mem'ries start hauntin'
All DU may delight, with their critics so bright
But I'll have a blue, blue Fitzmas
I'll have a blue Fitzmas, that's no sh*t
When I could use backup, there's no Pitt
Former readers can turn and go on the attack
Don't look for help, though, if Will Pitt's got your back
And when those cruel DUmmies start tauntin'
That's when those blue mem'ries start hauntin'
All DU may delight, with their critics so bright
But I'll have a blue, blue, blue, blue Fitzmas
THE NIGHT BEFORE FITZMAS
'Twas the night before Fitzmas, when all through the house
Not a FReeper was typing or using their mouse.
Their essays were stored in a file they called "Pitt"
In hopes that the contest would show off their wit.
The authors had wrestled all week to write bad,
While versions of Willie's prose ran off their pad.
And PJ in his perch there atop DUFU Towers
Had just settled his blogs for a few business hours.
When up on the DUFUs there arose such a ruckus,
I sprang from my deep snooze to see what the fuss was.
Away to "My Comments" I flew bada-bing!
Went straight to a Pitt thread to check out the ping.
The mood of delight at a new-written post
Was not what amazed or surprised me the most.
For what to my wondering eyes should appear
But a wee little DUmmie who was holding a beer!
With a bald head, an earring--I've got to admit,
I knew in a moment it must be Will Pitt!
More vapid an English I never had heard,
With sentence on sentence and word upon word.
"Now deader! Now duller! Now wordy and prolix!
On pompous! On pond'rous! Impress PJ-Comix!
Till the end of the page! Till a volume you fill!
Now write away! Write away! Write it like Will!"
He spoke not much more, which was so unlike Pitt;
He usually rambles and piles up his spit.
We wondered the cause of this newfound restraint--
Oh, not that we're angry or making complaint!
Was there something amiss? What's the worst that we feared?
But we heard Pitt exclaim, ere he soon disappeared:
"I've got to get back--a new essay to write!
I just heard that Fitz . . . is about to indict!"
The thing that struck me FUnnie about this thread was how Pitt's opening post was totally IGNORED! And then the befuddled Pitt himself has very little to say, while his defenders and the "sniper" hijack the thread!
Also, remember, it's not always the DUmmie posts themselves that make for the humor here, it's what we do with them! That calls for some creativity on our part!
Is he DUmb? Listen, bud
Hoaxmas fell on him with a thud
Can he flame at his foes?
Read it on Daily Kos
Truth Out! Here comes the Magic Man!
In the Pitt of night
Booze goes right to his head
Spoiling for a fight
He tells Skinner "Drop dead!"
Magic Man, Magic Man,
Friendly neighborhood Magic Man
Truth and facts, he's ignored
Ridicule's his reward
To him, life is all freudenschade
Whereever there's bulldada
You'll find the Magic Man!
Now now, you'll get benburch excited with that kinky talk........
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