[SittinYonder]

Learn to run fast or kick butt.

Especially when his peers in high school Google his dad and find out what his dad's hobbies are.

Thanks mom for telling everybody that dad's a porn freak who masturbates all the time.

[donna]

Heche says Laffoon's hobbies include "playing ping-pong, playing poker, checking out online porn and masturbating." She says that like it's a bad thing.

The author thinks that's a good thing.