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INDICT FITZMAS
Tune: "White Christmas"
I'm fixing to indict Fitzmas
Just 'cause it never seems to show.
With the networks massing
And hours passing,
I hear crickets chirping no.
I'm fixing to indict Fitzmas
With every angry post I write.
May our frogs start marching tonight,
Because all these Fitzmases aren't right!
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IT'S BEGINNING TO LOOK A LOT LIKE FITZMAS
Tune: "It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas"
It's beginning to look a lot like Fitzmas
Never will arrive
We've been waiting since who knows when
We've missed it once again
So wake me when it's twenty twenty-five.
It's beginning to look a lot like Fitzmas
Won't include a Rove
'Cause it looks like his name's been shoved
To the very back burner of
The indictment stove.
A pair of federal counts with long prison amounts
Is the wish of goodboy and ben
Crowds that will gawk as he does a perp walk
Is the hope of Will Pitt and friends
The DUmmie Ants would love the chance to send Rove to the pen.
It's beginning to look a lot like Fitzmas
Never will appear
Now the crew at the courthouse door
Is looking kind of bored
'Cause they've been there since earlier this year.
It's beginning to look a lot like Fitzmas
Comes in fits and starts
But the funniest thing of all
Are the hopes that rise and fall
In the DUmmies' hearts.
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FREUDENSCHADE
Tune: "Edelweiss"
Freudenschade, Freudenschade,
DUmmie joy bears repeating;
Pop champagne, feel no pain--
Only thing, it's so fleeting.
Make 'em eat crow and the gloom will grow,
Gloom will grow and sour.
Freudenschade shoots its wad
In less than twenty-four hours.
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FREUDENSCHADESCHADENFREUDEFREUDENSCHADELICIOUS
Tune: "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious"
Freudenschadeschadenfreudefreudenschadelicious:
Even though the sound of it is something quite pernicious,
If you see the DUmmie glee for things that are fictitious--
Freudenschadeschadenfreudefreudenschadelicious!
Because they wanted Rove to walk
Just like he was a frog,
You should have heard the DUmmies talk--
They read it in a blog!
But then their champagne bubble burst
Before they drank a lick;
They must be cursed to die of thirst
'Cause Fitzmas fizzled quick!
Freudenschadeschadenfreudefreudenschadelicious:
Even though the sound of it is something quite pernicious,
If you see the DUmmie glee for things that are fictitious--
Freudenschadeschadenfreudefreudenschadelicious!
So when the DUmmies celebrate
Some supersecret "news,"
Just summon up this word and wait,
You've got a term to use;
But you should practice saying it
As often as you speak:
The DUmmies fall for piles of Pitt
At least two times a week!
Freudenschadeschadenfreudefreudenschadelicious:
Even though the sound of it is something quite pernicious,
If you see the DUmmie glee for things that are fictitious--
Freudenschadeschadenfreudefreudenschadelicious!
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THE TWENTY-FOUR (BUSINESS) HOURS OF FITZMAS
Tune: "The Twelve Days of Christmas"
On the twenty-fourth hour of Fitzmas
My truthout gave to me:
Twenty-four bonus hours
Twenty-three bogus sources
Twenty-two sealed indictments
Twenty-one new excitements
Twenty Leopolds leaping
Nineteen FReepers freeping
Eighteen crowded dockets
Seventeen Sonny Crocketts
Sixteen corks a-popping
Fifteen-hour meeting
Fourteen Freudenschades
Thirteen Pipers piping
Twelve DUmmies griping
Eleven Roves a-packing
Ten dollars lacking
Nine shots at Skinner
Eight crows for dinner
Seven crews amassing
Six days a-passing
Five LOUSY TROLLS!
Four Patton Boggs
Three fresh blogs
Two marching frogs
And a Pitt ribbed in a parody! .
Ain't seen ya in a while... those are all still good.