Additionally, perhaps being less of "a perfect lady" might be productive. A lot of times guys need more than a ladylike hint before we absorb the situation. What often happens is hints go right over our pointy little heads. You have to tell us very explicitly. After smacking us over the head with a crowbar to ensure you have our complete attention
As far as motivating guys to do chores, being un-ladylike in another way is also useful. Most guys will go for a deal like "You do 3 hours of housework, and I'll do an hour of fulfilling the sexual fantasy of your choice". Generally speaking, guys who get laid frequently (as in several times per week) tend to be very agreeable people
Geez, your description of men who can't figure out for themselves that fair is fair, and must be bribed with sex (ensuring I'm still doing most of the work in the relationship) doesn't bode well for what you must consider a better class of man. No offense, but don't you see that if I'm working just as hard as you, I shouldn't have to bribe you to not make my life unfairly hard at home?