You've received some sound suggestions here- and a few wisecracks for fun. I agree with the ones who said you're focusing on yourSELF. By doing so you will NEVER find the elusive happiness/contentment you search.
It sounds as though you have several expectations built in to your quest- one being that you will feel more desirable. Trust me on this- as long as you're focused on what YOU want- you're undesirable. She isn't going to be changing anytime soon into what YOU want. Love her anyway.
Instead of TRYING to please- give pleasure.
Read the prayer of St Francis. Every day.