Re-read kdot's response to you. She is right on the money. After 30+ years of marriage, I can tell you that it is a roller coaster. You have highs and lows. If you want to stayed married then you have to change things about the relationship that CAN be changed and accept those things that CAN'T be changed. If your wife hasn't initiated sex in 18 years she is not going to start now. There is nothing wrong with that. Accept it. Be intimate with her sometimes (hold her hand, rub her back)without following up with sex. It would show her that you want to touch her without getting something in return. I would also suggest that you do little things for her like pour her a cup of coffee or take the wrapper off her hamburger, etc. Women love the little things that men do much more than than the flashy things. When you start to focus on her and not yourself you will find that you will actually feel better because she will respond in a like manner to you. Good luck, my friend.