A Christian most correctly searches through Jesus' words and asks "what did Jesus say". Putting yourself in Jesus' place and figuring out what He would do is to make a God of yourself.
I'm not saying this to be cruel to you, or even highly critical ~ it's just to point out what the fundamental problem is in doing this.
Most folks tend to back off from idolotry.
Being Christian is not a death sentence. We have God's right to defend ourselves against evil forces.