Just Like G.I. Joe

Airborne Hog Society ^ | 14 May 2005 | AHS MilBlogger

[Axhandle]

Today was just like the battles that I watched on G.I. Joe cartoons, when I was a kid. I still remember the introduction to the show, as the narrator voiced over the music:

"G.I. Joe is the code name for America's daring, highly-trained, special mission force. It's purpose: to defend human freedom against Cobra; the ruthless, terrorist organization, determined to rule the world."

Replace "Cobra" with "Islamofascism" and you get a somewhat accurate description of our situation. Then, if you consider what happened today, the similarities make the show seem downright prophetic. Today's fight lived up to all of the foolish notions that I had about being a Soldier, when I was a child. We had a sustained fight today. Everybody was firing all types of weapons. There were explosions all around us. We could hear the mortars being fired before they impacted and we heard RPGs (rocket-propelled grenades) zip past us. Soldiers manning automatic weapons let loose with long bursts of fire on the positions that the mortars and RPGs were fired from. And nobody got hurt. Furthermore, the bad guys got away, to fight again in a future episode. It was truly reminiscent of a fight between G.I. Joe and Cobra.

The day began when we heard the whoosh of some RPGs zip past our patrol base. I was inside, so it sounded kind of odd. I have had RPGs fired at me before, and this sounded very different. We just kind of looked at each other, wondering if it was our mechanics pulling an engine out of a Bradley Fighting Vehicle. But, the automatic weapons fire that followed told us what the deal was. I was not even fully dressed, but I at least had some pants and boots on. I grabbed my helmet, body armor, and weapon, stuffed some loaded magazines into my pockets, and ran to the fighting position that was doing the most firing. On the way, I met up with the Sergeant of the Guard - the noncommissioned officer in charge of our security force. He gave me all of the information that he had gathered as I made my way to a better vantage point, to assess the situation.

As soon as I got to that position, there was another volley of RPGs. These were not even close. I doubt that the guy(s) who fired them even took the time to aim. I suspect that he was too afraid of getting shot and just kind of blindly poked the RPG launcher around a corner. A machine gun tore into the point that the RPGs were fired from. Then, we heard a mortar launch. We knew exactly where it was fired from and called our command post to let them know. A machine gunner tore into that location, as well. After firing a long burst, his team leader told him to put his head down until the mortar impacted. The round exploded shortly thereafter, and the machine gunner hopped back up behind his sights and continued to scan. More mortars were fired from another location and we responded accordingly - returning the favor with well-aimed machine gun fire.

At this point, it seemed obvious to me that we needed to get some air support to help identify these idiots and some infantrymen to start chasing these idiots down. My commander has been sick lately and was asleep when the attack started. But, I was sure that he was awake by this time, and I assumed that he would make those decisions. I moved back to the command post, to ensure that he had an accurate understanding of the situation. En route, I met up with one of the platoon sergeants and told him to be ready to move on a moment's notice. He was already on top of it. When I got to the command post, the Sergeant of the Guard and I gave the commander what information we had gathered. He had already coordinated for the air support and directed a platoon to move to the point that the mortars were fired from, as I assumed he would. As soon as I finished briefing him, I heard the vehicles rolling out of the gate. Within moments, they were clearing the known and suspected enemy positions, but the enemy had already made his escape, blending into the crowds or taking refuge in the endless hiding places afforded by urban terrain.

And that is how every episode of G.I. Joe ends. Cobra Commander comes up with some brilliant scheme. His minions exchange a flurry of gunfire with G.I. Joe, but nobody gets hurt. G.I. Joe then outmaneuvers the minions. Cobra Commander makes a narrow escape... to be continued in the next episode. I look forward to the new fall season, because right now we seems to be experiencing an endless string of re-runs.