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Ted Kennedy Fights Removal of Feeding Tube
Jerhad!com ^
| March 23, 2005
| Jeremy Robb
Posted on 03/29/2005 5:03:49 PM PST by Seadog Bytes
March 23, 2005
Ted Kennedy Fights Removal of Feeding Tube
WASHINGTON, DC --- Ted Kennedy, who was recently declared brain-dead by his physician, is fighting for his life. The Senator's family is trying to have his feeding tube removed to allow him to die a sober death. The tube, attached to a bottle of vodka and a bottle of gin, has been utilized by the senator for his entire adult life. Medical experts believe removal will almost certainly result in death.
"This is a very complex situation," said one medical expert. "Senator Kennedy appears to be functioning normally to many people, but it is quite obvious that the man is brain-dead by his public comments. Most of us in the medical community think he should be allowed to have a dignified death by sobering him up and removing his feeding tube."
Liberals were stuck in a quandary today as they want Terri Schiavo dead, but they don't want Ted Kennedy to die. "This is a moral dilemma to many people," said Commie Greenstein, a liberal living in New York. "Fortunately, most of us don't really make decisions based on any morals, so it's okay if we want one person to die while allowing a brain-dead person to live."
Alcohol manufacturers around the world are scrambling to raise money for the "Keep Kennedy Alive" fund. Removing his feeding tube is predicted to cause a 12% annual decrease in global alcohol consumption. Some manufacturers risk going out of business as soon as the feeding tube is removed.
About the Writer: Jeremy Robb is a San Francisco resident and satirist who notes that he is on a "one man's jihad against liberalism." He is the editor of the "Jerhad!com Newsletter" and his website is at http://www.jerhad.com. Jeremy receives e-mail at jeremy@jerhad.com
TOPICS:
KEYWORDS: alcohol; braindead; dilemma; fat; feedingtube; gin; hypocrite; kennedy; liberal; moraldilemma; quagmire; tedkennedy; vodka
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Too Funny!!! ...and TOO TRUE.
To: Seadog Bytes
So it has become a joking matter.
2
posted on
03/29/2005 5:06:40 PM PST
by
OldFriend
("If there must be trouble, let it be in my day, that my child might have peace." Thomas Paine)
Comment #3 Removed by Moderator
To: OldFriend
4
posted on
03/29/2005 5:09:30 PM PST
by
MacDorcha
("Do you want the e-mail copy or the fax?" "Just the fax, ma'am.")
To: MacDorcha
This is the time to weep.
To: ConservativeMan55; 68-69TonkinGulfYachtClub; JulieRNR21; Cindy; Smartass; sweetliberty; ...
Liberals' Moral Quandary Ping
IMHO This writer is tooooo funny!
...Hope you think so too!
(Please FReepmail if you want on, or off, this list. I certainly have no desire to increase anyone’s stress-level. Thanks!!!)
6
posted on
03/29/2005 5:13:17 PM PST
by
Seadog Bytes
(OPM - The Liberal Solution to Every Societal Problem!!! (...Other People's Money.))
To: Seadog Bytes
To make him comfortable as he achieves euphoria, I propose they give him a vodka enema (afterall, he been giving America one for decades...)
7
posted on
03/29/2005 5:14:14 PM PST
by
LRS
To: 1Peter3v14
Agreed. For Terri and for our nation.
8
posted on
03/29/2005 5:14:54 PM PST
by
Ladysmith
(Wisconsin Hunter Shootings: If you want on/off the WI Hunters ping list, please let me know.)
To: Seadog Bytes
This is funny. The whole thing has become a curcus now anyway.
Barring a miracle by God alone she will die soon.
Ted Kennedy should have fought th removal of hers but he didn't, so he deserves the backhand.
To: Seadog Bytes
Jeremy Robb is a San Francisco resident and satirist who notes that he is on a "one man's jihad against liberalism."HA HA HA..!!
He certainly lives in the belly of the beast......
I wish I knew him....I don't know him, and I already like him...!!
FRegards,
10
posted on
03/29/2005 5:18:06 PM PST
by
Osage Orange
(I can explain it to you.....But I can't make you understand it.)
To: 1Peter3v14
No, this thread is the time to laugh.
Balance yourself, or evil will overtake you.
11
posted on
03/29/2005 5:19:11 PM PST
by
MacDorcha
("Do you want the e-mail copy or the fax?" "Just the fax, ma'am.")
To: OldFriend
To: Seadog Bytes
13
posted on
03/29/2005 6:02:49 PM PST
by
NRA2BFree
(Hosea 4:6 My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge ..)
To: squirt-gun
Looks like Howell Heflin, who passed away today.
14
posted on
03/29/2005 6:03:07 PM PST
by
OldFriend
("If there must be trouble, let it be in my day, that my child might have peace." Thomas Paine)
To: Osage Orange
If you liked THAT one, you might also like the other stuff he's got up at http://www.jerhad.com/
He's got one there about Hillary! (LOL) which I liked almost as much.
15
posted on
03/29/2005 6:43:46 PM PST
by
Seadog Bytes
(OPM - The Liberal Solution to Every Societal Problem!!! (...Other People's Money.))
To: Seadog Bytes
16
posted on
03/29/2005 7:45:10 PM PST
by
Huguenot
To: Seadog Bytes
I'm sure he'd love to feed something into somebody, but he's no Bill Clinton. ;')
17
posted on
03/29/2005 7:58:34 PM PST
by
SunkenCiv
(last updated my FreeRepublic profile on Friday, March 25, 2005.)
Comment #18 Removed by Moderator
Comment #19 Removed by Moderator
To: LRS
That works for me. ...but I guess I would be happy if the Massachusetts voters would just throw his fat fanny out of the U.S. Senate along with that other Leftist piece of work, John F.F. Kerry.
20
posted on
03/29/2005 8:12:25 PM PST
by
Seadog Bytes
(OPM - The Liberal Solution to Every Societal Problem!!! (...Other People's Money.))
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WASHINGTON, DC --- Ted Kennedy, who was recently declared brain-dead by his physician, is fighting for his life. The Senator's family is trying to have his feeding tube removed to allow him to die a sober death. The tube, attached to a bottle of vodka and a bottle of gin, has been utilized by the senator for his entire adult life. Medical experts believe removal will almost certainly result in death.
