They are so stinking desperate, aren't they? You can just smell it.
I've decided to quit writing customized responses to these stories, and instead have developed a form letter response, since they ALL are starting to sound and act the same way:
They are nuts. Friggin' nuts. Nuttier than squirrel poop. They are crazed. Out of their minds. Rabid. Smokin' some really good stuff. Drinking hi-grade Kool-Aide. Puttin' the wrong mushrooms into the stir-fry. Jumping the shark and counting coup on it. Poppin' Zoloft like Tic-Tacs. Using snow shovels for coke spoons. Getting fitted for shirts with extra-long sleeves. Booking seats on the white van. Squirting glue up their noses. And still coming back for more...