Merry Christmas to you!
Posted on 12/24/2004 9:50:36 AM PST by nikos1121
CHRISTMAS IN MONTANA
THE SCENE: A Cold December day.
Excerpt:
MISS RUGAMYER: Now, children, how can Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer possibly be politically incorrect?
CYNTHIA: It shows insensitivity towards people with disabilities.
HANK:It mentions the word Christmas.
SWEET PEA: And it shows an infringement of Rudolph’s animal rights.
MISS RUGAMYER: Francis, how does the song show an infringement of Rudolph’s animal rights?
SWEET PEA: Because Rudolph didn’t have a choice when Santa hitched him to the sleigh.
MISS RUGAMYER: Class, at this rate, we’re not going to have any songs for our program. Ok…here’s one that I’m sure will not offend anyone. Not even in Brooklyn. Jingle Bells. Ready?
EVERYONE SINGS TOGETHER: Dashing through the snow, In a one horse open sleigh, Over the fields we go, Laughing all the way, HA… HA… HA… Bells on bobtails ring, Making spirits bright, What fun it is to ride and sing A sleighing song tonight…OOOOOH…
(All hands go up at the end of OOOOOH.)
CYNTHIA: We can’t sing Jingle Bells, Miss Rugamyer, because it shows a callous disregard for the environment if these people go knocking down trees and bushes with their horse and sleigh.
HANK: And there’s the late night noise pollution from all the laughing, singing and the bobtails jingling.
SWEET PEA: And it shows an infringement of the horse’s animal rights.
MISS RUGAMYER: Don’t tell me. Because the horse didn’t have a choice when they hitched him to the sleigh? Well, let’s try another one. How about Frosty the Snowman?* Ready?
EVERYONE SINGS TOGETHER: Frosty the Snowman Was a jolly happy soul With a corncob pipe and a button nose And two eyes made out of coal.
(HANK raises his hand on the words corncob pipe.)
MISS RUGAMYER: Now what, in Sam Hill, is wrong with Frosty the Snowman?!
(Excerpt) Read more at havescripts.com ...
I would like you to read my one-act play a comedy "Christmas in Montana". It takes place in a one room school house in Big Timber Montana. Ms. Rugamyer, a substitute teacher, and several children are rehearsing Christmas carols. The play points out the stupidity of political correctness when it comes to Christmas. It also makes us think that we need to stand up for our right to practice our religion in peace. I've never seen more attacks against Christianity than right now.
Please email me privately your email address and I will send you the entire play free to read. If you wish to have a hard copy, they are available through www.havescripts.com.
Fellow FReepers. Thank you for a wonderful year. We have much to be thankful for.
nikos1121
Montana is a large state, sparsely populated and situated in the northwestern part of the United States. Like the rest of the United States, Montana's economy was originally based on agriculture and mining. There were few children, and they lived hundreds of miles apart, in the wide-open spaces between small towns. One-room schools were built to meet the needs of the few, but multi-aged ranch children.
When most of the United States industrialized in the twentieth century, Montana did not. The population is still small, about 900,000 people, with three quarters of them living in non-metropolitan areas. The Big Sky and wide-open spaces remain. Children are still raised on ranches, miles apart in remote areas, and require a school within reasonable distances of their homes. As a result, there are still 85 to 100 currently operating one-room schools in Montana. This is a story of one such school.
About the Play: Over eighty one-room schools still exist today in Montana. This is a ten-minute comedy about one such school, suitable for any audience. Miss Rugamyer is a semi-retired schoolteacher from a Brooklyn, New York private school, who travels to Big Timber, Montana to substitute teach for eight weeks. On her first day of class, it is twenty below zero outside, and only three students, ages 14, 12 and 8, all related to one another, show up for school. Expecting to teach these country mice "the old school" ways of the world, Miss Rugamyer soon finds that the students, Hank, Cynthia and Sweet Pea, have a few things to teach her besides sibling rivalry and that their former teacher, Ms. Merker-Chavez was quite the feminist.
CAST OF CHARACTERS
MISS RUGAMYER: A semi-retired schoolteacher from Brooklyn, New York who comes to Montana for eight weeks as a substitute teacher.
HANK: Fourteen years old. An awkward lad who is still at about the fifth-grade level. Brother to Cynthia and Sweet Pea.
CYNTHIA: Twelve years of age and well beyond the eighth-grade level. She wears glasses.
SWEET PEA: A mischievous and precocious eight-year-old in the third grade.
Thank you! Merry Christmas!!!
Ping!
I tried calling you today.
I wanted to send you a Christmas Card, but my attorney advised me to send the following:
Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral, celebration of some sort of holiday on or about the winter solstice, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all, and a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2005, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great (not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country or is the only "America" in the western hemisphere), and without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith, or sexual orientation of the wishee.
If you choose, please spread the joy, or other emotion of your choice.
hahahahahahaahahaahhaahaaha!!!!!!!
Oh, morning, sleeping!!!!! hahaha
Merry Christmas to you!
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