Christmas Songs For The Mentally Disturbed

Jens Blog | today | Jen

[NautiNurse]

I appreciate your sensitivity toward mental illness. My immediate and near extended family have plenty of the official psych diagnoses. I would wager that most everyone in this forum have family and/or friends that fall into the psych illness category.

In our family, a fair number of the psych afflicted have retained their sense of humor toward their conditions. Every one of them are brilliant. We all pitch in together to make the best of difficult situations. A sense of humor goes a long way toward softening the perpetual pain.

[Liberty Valance]

MERRY CHRISTMAS FROM THE FAMILY
(Robert Earl Keen Jr.)
Robert Earl Keen - 1994


Mom got drunk and Dad got drunk
At our Christmas party
We were drinkin' champagne punch
And homemade eggnog
Little sister brought her new boyfriend
He was a Mexican
We didn't know what to think of him
Til he sang Feliz Navidad
Feliz Navidad

Brother Ken brought his kids with him
The three from his first wife Lynn
And the two identical twins
From his second wife MaryNell
Of course he brought his new wife Kaye
Who talks all about AA
Chain smokin' while the stereo plays
Noel, Noel, The first Noel

Carve the turkey turn the ball game on
Mix Margaritas when the eggnog's gone
Send somebody to the Quik-Pak store
We need some ice and an extention cord
A can of bean dip and some Diet Rite
A box of tampons and some Marlboro Lights
Hallelujah everybody say cheese
Merry Christmas from the family

Fran and Rita drove from Harlingen
I can't remember how I'm kin to them
But when they tried to plug their motorhome in
They blew our christmas lights
Cousin David knew just what went wrong
So we all waited on our front lawn
He threw the breaker and the lights came on
And we sang Silent Night
Oh Silent Night

Carve the turkey turn the ballgame on
Make Bloody Marys cause we all want one
Send somebody to the Stop 'n Go
We need some celery and a can of fake snow
A bag of lemons and some Diet Sprite
A box of tampons and some Salem Lights
Hallelujah everybody say cheese
Merry Christmas from the family

Feliz Navidad.

[weenie]

Thx...much appreciated.

There are children that play here that do not know how to behave appropriately among adults...

Hopefully, those that have consciences will prevail. I did when I was a child.

[Porterville]

That's a Texas song... you must be from Texas. I like this one the best- but I also like his song about Barbeque, Barbeque.

[Intolerant in NJ]

And that old standard from everybody's childhood, for the SADISTIC PERSONALITIES: "Good King Wenseslas looked out on the feast of Stephen, when a snowball hit his snout and made it all uneven......"

[secret garden]

I remember when Robert Earl and Lyle Lovett used to sit on a porch behind the Dixie Chicken, singing songs.

[Porterville]

Oh Lord it's hard to be humble
When you're perfect in every way
I can't wait to look in the mirror
Cuz I get better lookin each day

To know me is to love me
I must be a hell of a man
Oh Lord it's hard to be humble
But I'm doin' the best that I can

I used to have a girlfriend
But I guess she just couldn't compete
With all these love starved women
Who keep clamoring at my feet

Well I probably could find me another
But I guess they're all in awe of me
Who cares I never get lonesome
Cuz I treasure my own company

Oh Lord it's hard to be humble
When you're perfect in every way
I can't wait to look in the mirror
Cuz I get better lookin each day

To know me is to love me
I must be a hell of a man
Oh Lord it's hard to be humble
But I'm doin the best that I can

I guess you could say I am a loner
A cowboy all locked up and proud
Well I could have lots of friends if I wanted
But then I wouldn't stand out in a crowd

Some folks say that I'm egotistical
Hell I don't even know what that means
I guess it has something to do with the way
That I fill out my skin tight blue jeans


Hear the song- http://www.minibite.com/oldies/humble.htm

[Charles Henrickson]

ANGER MANAGEMENT: "I Saw Mommy Kicking Santa Claus"

[RichInOC]

HYPERACTIVITY Jingle Bells ("Dashing through the snow...")
Barbra Streisand's version is particularly fitting. If you've ever heard it, you know why.

MASOCHISM All I Want For Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth

OEDIPAL COMPLEX I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus

BEREAVEMENT ISSUES Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer

INFERIORITY COMPLEX and PARANOIA: I Ain't Gettin' Nuttin' For Christmas

[Porterville]

I met a hot black chick at the Dixie Chicken.... College Station is a great town because there ain't much to do but mess around.

[null and void]

Bah Humbug to you too...

[Charles Henrickson]

ALIEN ABDUCTION SYNDROME: "I Saw Three Ships Come Sailing In"

[weenie]

Yo...check back in when you grow up...you eez in way over your head...

[Charles Henrickson]

MULTIPLE PERSONALITY DISORDER: "The Twelve Daves of Christmas"

[RichInOC]

"Adeste Infidelis"?

[Angry Republican]

That ain't right.

[Lijahsbubbe]

HYPERACTIVITY Jingle Bells ("Dashing through the snow...") Barbra Streisand's version is particularly fitting. If you've ever heard it, you know why.

AARGH! That is one of the WORST! It will just plain drive someone crazy! Our military needs to use that one for terrorists!

[null and void]

Nothing my Paxil can't help with...

[TChris]

Try approaching the painful truths in your life with a little humor. It helps a lot.

[null and void]

Christmas time is here, by golly,
Disapproval would be folly.
Deck the halls with hunks of holly,
Fill the cup and don't say when.

Kill the turkeys, ducks and chickens,
Mix the punch, drag out the Dickens.
Even though the prospect sickens,
Brother, here we go again.

On Christmas Day you can't get sore,
Your fellow man you must adore.
There's time to rob him all the more
The other three hundred and sixty-four.

Relations, sparing no expense, 'll
Send some useless old utensil,
Or a matching pen and pencil.
("Just the thing I need, how nice!")

It doesn't matter how sincere it is,
Nor how heart felt the spirit,
Sentiment will not endear it,
What's important is the price.

Hark, the Herald Tribune sings,
Advertising wondrous things.
God rest ye merry merchants,
May ye make the Yuletide pay.
Angels we have heard on high,
Tell us to go out and buy!

So, let the raucous sleighbells jingle,
Hail our dear old friend Kris Kringle,
Driving his reindeer across the sky.
Don't stand underneath when they fly by.