Race, in the last ten years my brother was murdered I lost my three remaining Grandparents, My uncle and seven year old neice succumbed to cancer, one of my sisters asked how I could be so stoic in the face of all those we had lost.
I told her I wasn't stoic at all, I just cry on the inside then walked away and had a good sobfest where no one could see me.
You'll feel better later.
I still havent cried yet.
I dont know why.
I started to a couple times Monday night, only for a few seconds, both times it just stopped.
I get hours of short breath though! I start talking hyper-actively, but no tears.
I feel like I am not honoring him, you know? Like I have to cry to show it.
However, my sisters, I saw NONE of the 3 break down, either, little sobs, but nothing major in public either.