Posted on 07/13/2004 1:28:28 PM PDT by GradientEcho
I got tired of seeing the Republican version posted all over the place on other sites I go to, if you need one to dump in response this is a partial list of mine.
THE THINGS YOU HAVE TO BELIEVE TO BE A LIBERAL TODAY
A Senator that shows up for work 20% of the time should be promoted.
Coalitions that don't include France don't count.
Being a billionaire with six houses and an $8,000 bicycle is exactly the life experience you need to speak for the middle class.
Marrying into money not once but twice and serving a brief stint in the private world as an attorney qualfies you as an expert on the challenges facing middle class working people.
Iraq was a paradise until we started bombing it. Now look at the place.
Attacking Serbia and Kosovo was justified to prevent the mass murder of Muslims. Attacking Iraq, despite the mass murder of Muslims, is completely unjustified.
Government thugs torturing and murdering dissidents is a crime in Honduras, and a necessay exercise to maintain civil order in Cuba.
Funds received by corporations that receive government contracts are deposited into the personal bank accounts of company executives. Corporations do not purchase goods & services with these funds from other businesses nor do they employ people, it is all given to the CEO.
Educational spending that fails to result in educated children clearly indicates the need for further spending. Defense spending that results in tangible benefit clearly indicates the need for cuts.
People who can't do anything else become soldiers.
Guns are killers, criminals are misunderstood.
Doctors who fail to obtain informed consent from parents for all medical procedures regarding their children are committing malpractice, unless it's for an abortion.
Money corrupts everything, unless it comes from the government every month in the mail.
Treating people equally without giving consideration to race, gender, creed or sexual orientation is bigotry.
Racial profiling is wrong, unless it's a serial killer or a sniper, in which case the white guy did it.
People in America have the right to protest their own government. People in other countries also have the right to protest the American government, even if they don't have the right to protest their own government. Both types of protest are equally valid.
Getting a recording contract, TV or movie deal makes you an authority on geopolitics.
You must believe that war never solved anything. You must not discuss war solving slavery, communism, fascism or the Holocaust.
If you run out of people to blame, there's always the Jews.
Even though assuming the fetal position never stopped a bully, this is a valid defense posture for the United States.
Martin Luther King advocated nonviolence, and he was right. Yasser Arafat advocates suicide bombing, and he is right.
Evolution is a fact. God is a theory.
The common good can be decided upon by a few people.
The failure of socialism to succeed over the past 100 years shows that people have not tried hard enough.
Stem-cell research is the fountain of youth and must be funded by the federal government, because venture capitalists aren't interested in that sort of thing.
People without health insurance never get health care. Ever.
Hypocrisy is the greatest sin, therefore, have no moral standards.
The circumstances of your birth don't count, unless you are born into a healthy, prosperous and stable family. If this is the case, everything is your fault.
John F. Kennedy was a genius because he used tax cuts to revive the economy. George W. Bush is irresponsible because he used tax cuts to revive the economy.
Just another thing to add to the list.
Directly, perfectly, on target. Thanks.
I see truth in this...
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