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We need to look at why, the Calvinistic churches , are declining, and if it’s rabid Calvinism, we don’t want that.

I am surprised to hear of Calvinism as a pulpit topic, even in a Reform church. It seems a little bit...heavy for Sunday morning fare. I've never had a discussion about predestination end "cleanly" with everyone on the same page, which is a pity. Were I a pastor, I don't think that I would present it to the congregation at large, unless I had a very Spirit-filled group of people who were all ready for it.
Not bloody likely these days...

I was introduced to Calvinist teaching in a SBC, but in an advanced discipleship course, not from the pulpit.

I agree with you, and I also think it could be that when we consider foreknowledge of something, we automatically consider this to be linear in space and time when it isn't?. We in our linear thinking always assume things and one thing we assume when we hear the word 'foreknowledge' is the linear concept of it. Most of us assume that all this happened prior to the beginning of the physical universe. That's could not necessarily be totaly correct. Don't misunderstand, this is not a dive into metaphysics, but just a recognition that applying linear logic to eternal concepts isn't always correct in God's universe and sometimes the scriptures show that apparent contradictory position.

I read something interesting on predestination(foreknowledge=proginosko)in scripture as "know" the hebrew word is "Yada" has a *pregnant* meaning which goes beyond mere cognition and is used in a sense practically synonymous with love, to set regard upon, to know with particular interest, delight , affection. Interesting!

My main point, is to look at the total picture, if a Church or Churches(SBC) are growing can this not be a sign that God has particular interest, delight , affection for them and not to get to hang-up on a single point?
But, just don't get me started on Calvin theology on "Church and State" : )

I like the (SBC) Statement on God's Purpose of Grace.*

*Election is the gracious purpose of God, according to which He regenerates, justifies, sanctifies, and glorifies sinners. It is consistent with the free agency of man, and comprehends all the means in connection with the end. It is the glorious display of God's sovereign goodness, and is infinitely wise, holy, and unchangeable. It excludes boasting and promotes humility.All true believers endure to the end. Those whom God has accepted in Christ, and sanctified by His Spirit, will never fall away from the state of grace, but shall persevere to the end. Believers may fall into sin through neglect and temptation, whereby they grieve the Spirit, impair their graces and comforts, and bring reproach on the cause of Christ and temporal judgments on themselves; yet they shall be kept by the power of God through faith unto salvation.