[hosepipe]

If you reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet it makes beer come out your nose.
- Deep Thoughts Jack Handy

[rolling_stone]

Ok, what kind of wood doesn't float? ...Natalie Wood

There was a Baptist Minister, A Catholic Priest and a Jewish Rabbi eating lunch one day and discussing their different houses of worship. The discussion turned to how they divide the weekly collection of donations. The Minister said that was easy, he took a piece of chalk and drew a small circle on the ground then took the collection plates and threw the money in the air. He said all the money that lands inside the circle is his and that outside belongs to the church.

The Priest is next and he says..that is remarkable, I do something very similar, I draw a small circle on the ground and throw the money in the air, and that which lands inside the circle is the church's and that outside is mine.

And last the Rabbi says that is amazing, I also throw the money in the air. That which lands on the ground is mine and God grabs what he wants when it is in the air.....