If you'd put down your mint julep for a second you'd realize you made the first argument every Drug Warrior makes when he or she decides to argue this issue on a third-grade-level. Fisher-Price could patent it and call it My First Anti-Doper Debate TM.
Uh ... you just made my point. That's what I meant about an absurdity with an absurdity, though in between the hits on your crack pipe you probably got confused.