A Malian Woman, aged 35 with a Universiy education, who works in a government department. She has been excised and infibulated. Awa Thiam: What is your opinion of excision?
I have to say that excision and infibulation are deeply rooted in our society. Even if girls and young women protest against these practices, we must recognize that their protests meet strong resistance on the part of the older women, as it is proved by what happened in my family.
After my personal experience of all the troubles, physical and psychological, that can result from excision and infibulation I decided, with full agreement of my husband, not to have our three daughters done. They were all born in France while my husband and I were finishing our studies. When we returned to Mali, my mother was the first to ask me whether I had my children excised and infibulated. I replied no, and made it clear that i had no intention of doing so.
It was during the long holidays. As I have found a job, I often left my children with my parents and went to collect them on weekends. One day, on my way home from work, I dropped in at my parents' to see my children and say hello. I was surprised that there was no sign of my daughters. Normally they ran to greet me. I asked my mother where they were. "They're in this room", she replied, pointing to where they were accustomed to sleep. I wondered if they were sleeping, or didn't know I was there.
I went to their room. They were lying on mats covered with a few pagnes. At the sight of their swollen faces, and their eyes full of tears, I gasped and a cry escaped me. "What's the matter? What happened children?" But before the children or the two women who were with them could reply I heard my mother saying, "Just see you don't disturb my grandchildren. They were excised and infibulated this morning."
I can't tell you what my feelings were at that precise moment. What could I do or say against my mother? I felt a surge of rebellion, but I was powerless in the face of my mother. One of the women present said, "You should be pleased everything went alright for you daughters." The other said, "She is just overcome with emotion!".
Rather than risk showing a lack of respect to the older women, which is strongly disapproved of in my circle, by telling them what I thought of them and the way they had acted, I hurried away from the house. In view of the state they were in, there was no question of my taking my daughters home. they had to stay there till they were healed. Like many African women my mother had shown that she had rights not only over me, but also over my children-her grandchildren. In fact it is common in Mali for children who are sent to spen the holidays with their grandparents, circumcised, excised, and/or infibulated.
So why did this mother entrust her daughters to their barbaric grandmother? Why didn't she haul off and slug the grandmother in rage?