With all due respect, you have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about. Congratulations on having a family made of sterner stuff than I, but this in no way negates the struggles of others.
I’m fully well aware that others face far greater challenges and obstacles that I do, but not only does this not help, it actively makes things worse a lot of the time. It leads to even greater panic over why and how I’m so completely messed up that I can’t handle even relatively small issues while others can overcome the greatest hurdles without breaking a sweat.
I have to remind myself on a near-daily basis why suicide is a bad idea and why I shouldn’t do it. But try to understand, there are many, many times when not only do I not think it would be bad for my children, it would be actively good, as they’d have a whole lot more money and wouldn’t have to deal with my problems anymore. It’s very easy - VERY easy - to think that ending it all would solve infinitely more problems than it would create.
Now, don’t get the wrong idea. The chances that I’m going to kill myself today or tomorrow or anytime in the near future are very small, and I absolutely don’t seek or want anybody’s pity. Just that people understand that it’s not “cowardly” and that it’s not anything that people contemplate lightly. It’s a tremendous and sometimes all consuming struggle.
I feel like I know exactly why Robin Williams did what he did and why other unfortunate souls destroy themselves every day. It’s a hell of a way to live and I wouldn’t wish it upon my worst enemy.
Many people are destroying themselves every day by not living up to their potential. I guess Mr. Williams did and it didn’t help him. That makes him the exception.
Some people are just never going to get it. They think you can will yourself out of it. For people who have it really bad you can’t. The advice they give is appropriate for mild depression: get out more, think of others, be grateful, act cheerful. For someone who is at 12 on a scale of 1-10 such advice is meaningless. If they had to live 5 minutes in your head they’d be screaming. Stay strong, FRiend.