When I was in grade school we had a situation similar... a really nice nice and genuinely kind spirited kid named Bryan... the school... an older building constructed as part of the depression publicworks had to be retrofitted for his wheelchair with a ramp the head custodian built at the back of the lunchroom/former basketball court/theater.
Everyone was uncertain of Bryan at first... because he was so very different... very small and deformed and underdeveloped physically, but he came to be a great friend to everyone... my friends and I would take turns bringing him to lunch...or to classes. It was a kinda amazing thing actually... some of the biggest meanest bullies in school even knew their place and genuinely respected Bryan for how trying and frustrating his everyday life was.
I do distinctly recall yearbook pictures... Bryan would be right there with everyone like no big deal at all... not necessarily put in the middle of shots, not off to the side. One of us kids.
I saw a lot of compassion from kids that you normally wouldn’t expect it from... different world now, I guess... everyone is so closed in upon their own little virtual world...
My daughter's "boyfriend" has been on crutches or in a wheelchair all his life (they're 14) and one of the most popular kids around. My first "real" conversation with him started out with me asking him if he thought it appropriate he should be asking my daughter to be his "date" for the big dance, without first having formally introduced himself to her parents. (they were in 7th grade at the time.) My husband was appalled, our daughter cringed, but the young man just looked at me and said something along the lines of - no, not really, you tried to "help" pick me up off the floor on Halloween, I think we have been introduced enough.
I was appropriately put in my place and I admired him for not being cowed, but he has also thanked me for not looking at his crutches and learning to look at him for him.
Thank you for your wise and thoughtful comments.