The major difference between the South and yogurt is that yogurt has a living culture.
The major difference between the South and yogurt is that yogurt has a living culture.
Funny. I will leave you to your rich and deep NE culture. Please do not drink bourbon, listen to jazz, blues, country-western, bluegrass, gospel, soul, or rock n’roll. Refrain from eating anything known as “Southern Cooking” or “Soul Food” (Same thing, different cut of meat) or “Creole”. Do not read Mark Twain, Faulkner, Tennessee Williams, Thomas Wolfe, Harper Lee, Tom Robbins, Tom Wolfe or Truman Capote. Just buy a piece of beef and boil the sh!t out of it, put on some great show tunes, crack open some Canadian Rye and read Maureen Dowd columns. If this routine doesn’t turn you gay, count yourself lucky.
You.... are a sad, despicable, little man.
Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God was missing for six days.
Eventually, Michael the archangel found him, resting on the seventh day. He inquired of God, “Where have you been?”
God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, “Look, Michael, look what I’ve made.”
Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, “What is it?”
“It’s a planet,” replied God, “and I’ve put LIFE on it. I’m going to call it Earth and it’s going to be a great place of balance.”
“Balance?” inquired Michael, still confused.
God explained, pointing to different parts of Earth, “For example, Northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth while Southern Europe is going to be poor; the Middle East over there will be a hot spot and the Antarctica in the South will be very cold. Over there I’ve placed a continent of white people and over there is a continent of black people. God continued, pointing to different countries.
“This one will be extremely hot and arid while this one will be very cold and covered in ice.”
The Archangel, impressed by God’s work, then pointed to a large area and asked, “What’s that one?”
“Ah,” said God. That’s the SOUTH, the most glorious place on Earth. There are beautiful mountains, lakes, rivers, streams and an exquisite coastline. The people from there are going to be modest, intelligent and humorous and they’re going to be found traveling the world. They’ll be extremely sociable, hardworking and high-achieving, and they will be known throughout the world as diplomats and carriers of peace. A truly great people.”
Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then proclaimed, “What about balance, God? You said there will be BALANCE.”
God replied wisely...”Wait until you see the loudmouth obnoxious people I’m putting north of them.